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Best in Show, Last in Life

November 10, 2010

I hate talent shows.  Not the ones for kids, those are funny.  I mean talent shows for adults and older teenagers.  Anytime I’ve watched one on television, I felt bad for the majority of the contestants and had to turn it off.

There’s a difference between being talented and having a talent.  If someone is talented, they can go somewhere with it besides winning a talent show.  If someone with a really beautiful voice sang during a talent show, I’d be really impressed.  But after the talent show is over, they can continue to progress with their voice and try to make it to the next step.

While watching a talent show, I find myself thinking little about the talent itself and more about how much effort went into developing it.  That’s why talent shows depress me.

Baton twirling, for instance.  I get that it takes a lot of practice and creating a routine is tedious, but why?  Why are you a veteran baton twirler?  You’ve put time into twirling a stick and dancing.

I’m not saying that baton twirling is easy; I’m saying it’s pointless and devoid of value.

Can I twirl a baton? No.  Can I throw a baton really high in the air, do a round-off and catch it in stride? Maybe.  But the time frame I would commit to learning to do so wouldn’t exceed 10 minutes because it’s THROWING A STICK IN THE AIR.

Think about how much time it would take to perfect a baton twirling routine.  The actual passing of time you’d have to put in to land that back handspring/high stick throw maneuver.  You’re going to die someday and instead of living your life, you’re playing with a fancy stick and doing cartwheels like an asshole.

If you’re putting hours into twirling a baton, go eff yourself.


13 Comments leave one →
  1. November 10, 2010 9:27 pm

    LOL, I agree!

  2. November 10, 2010 10:38 pm

    This is how I feel about some Olympic events. Like the ribbon dancing one. Especially if you’re from a smaller country that has little chance of actually placing. What if you spend you’re whole life learning how to ribbon dance, and you place 14th at the Olympics? Yikes.


  3. November 10, 2010 11:56 pm

    I’m not sure I agree with this completely. I think in some cases, well, people who have a talent they spend a lot of time on is because it helps them in some way or it’s something they REALLY love. So, to them, it’s not a waste of time.

    You want to know a waste of time? Balloon animals…

    I never understood that shit.

  4. November 11, 2010 3:17 pm

    OK. I get what you’re trying to say here, I really do, but this chick is 15. What significant talents do any 15-year-olds have? Most of them smoke pot. This girl spends hours twirling a baton because 1) she’s good at it and 2) she enjoys it. Isn’t that enough – doing something because you enjoy it, not because it will further your career (which she doesn’t have cuz she’s 15) or advancing yourself socially (which she doesn’t need cuz she is only 15 and already has boobs)? I was more focused on the fact that this particular chick is from “Regina” – that is not OK.

    • November 11, 2010 3:19 pm

      Question: were you once dumped by a baton twirler? Because then I would understand the resentment a bit better. I’m not trying to be bitchy (mostly, I’m just trying to be funny) but I really wanna know, why the hate?

  5. November 11, 2010 3:44 pm

    I know! I think that although it is fun to watch them, they still end up being overshadowed by the marching band, why not just keep playing your clarinet and call it a day? And Flaggots? Really?

  6. November 12, 2010 3:27 am

    I know…being a veteran baton twirler seems odd. Why not devote that time to something…well, cool?

  7. November 13, 2010 4:33 pm

    Old School. Will Ferrel. Nuff’ said.

  8. November 13, 2010 4:36 pm

    Damnit, it seems that I have confused baton twirling and ribbon dancing. Although different, they both hold the same amount of unworthiness.

  9. Baton Twirler permalink
    November 14, 2010 11:52 pm

    Apparently you have no talent and choose to critcize those that have a passion for something.

    Also sounds like you might have been dumped by a baton twirler to be so critical of the sport… Get a life

  10. November 16, 2010 6:20 pm

    Not that I can twirl batons, but if I could, and if I became homeless, I might make a buck or two. Would you call me an asshole then? Or would you just give me your change?

  11. November 20, 2010 10:25 pm

    This is how I felt when I found out Trampolining is an Olympic sport. Could I do it? No. Would I want to? No. Why don’t these people just focus on being awesome gymnasts instead? Why hinder the sport of gymnastics with sticks, ribbons and trampolines?!

  12. November 23, 2010 1:54 am

    I would like to let you know that I had to learn to twirl a baton when I was drum major in my high school marching band. Although my talent hasn’t led me to any money or purpose, it makes sweeping much more entertaining.

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